I
love Midtown Millennials. They are so sweet and polite. They all tip, say
please, and thank you. They never drink or do drugs. They never touch your
radio dials or go through your stuff looking for aux cords. They never ever
unplug your phone to charge their own. They don't use profanity. And they
politely hold their puke until they get home.
~ Said No Uber Driver Ever
What is a Midtown Millenial?
From Wikipedia
- "Millennials (also known as Generation Y) are the demographic
cohort following Generation X (Me! - Whoo Hoo!). There are no
precise dates for when this cohort starts or ends; demographers and researchers
typically use the early 1980s as starting birth years and the mid-1990s to
early 2000s as ending birth years." By day they appear as
innocent looking young professionals. Most of them are. All
across the US, in fact. However, there is an area of Houston where
the air contaminates these young minds..... Causing them to turn into
sex-crazed alcoholics when the sun goes down.
Where is Midtown Located?
Midtown is located in the center part of Houston, just south of Down-Town. Usually known to be safe by day with nice restaurants in the area. But when Friday and Saturday nights hit, the entire area converts into a crazed mad house.
The Bane of all Houston Uber Drivers
Midtown Millennials (MM's) have since the dawn of Uber in Houston (circa 2014) are the worst of the worst, the lowest of the low, the greatest bane of all Uber drivers in the area. This population is widely known for their strong sense of self entitlement. They are rude and talk down to us. They cause damage to our vehicles. Always trying to sneak in open containers of alcohol. They demand water, aux cords, our chargers. They adjust our heating/cooling, radio, blue tooth, volume, you name it. They will also help themselves to our phone chargers, by disconnecting our phones. They also love to keep us waiting, jam pack 5-8 people into an UberX car, and leave their vomit behind for us to clean up. Sometimes they cuss us out, sexually harass us, or use racial slurs. What a great representation of the future of America.
Many a time, Midtown Millennials will drink themselves insanely drunk. They also love to do drugs. There is no boundary that they will not cross. The two most dangerous places to pick up Midtown Millennials are the nightclubs Clé and Spire. Reason being? Well, they are known for the large amount of cocaine traffic. When a Midtown Millennial is under the influence (you never know), you are at the highest risk of incurring damage and severely abusive behavior from these paxs.
What Uber Drivers Are Saying
(unedited from the Face Book Groups)
"Yes I have a tip sign. It works with ou
alumni but does not work with rude Millennials Lol got one serge this morning
as I was leaving house was online from 945 am till now $56 one tip $5 uber says
I was online 3 hr 16 min but I compute 5. hrs with one pause to get gas"
"A
millenial gave me a bad rating for not having an iPhone charger. She asked and
I said no and she said I thought it was required for Uber drivers to have
iPhone chargers. I responded with a laugh and said who told you that lie. Lol.
My rating dropped a point."
"Next time
a drunk millennial pax from Midtown demands to use my aux cord or pair their
phone to my Bluetooth, I'm totally going to blast "Barney and
Friends" - music to match their immaturity levels of dumb little shits"
"I love
Houston, but since when did this town become so self centered and so rude?
nobody tips, nobody comments and nobody leaves remarks on uber. Oh, but one lil
mistake, or one wrong turn, and mother fuckers are quick to leave negative
remarks and cry to uber about you. I'm sick and tired of this shit
You are
describing entitled Millennials. This is exactly how they act. To
quote ########, Welcome to the jungle my friend."
"Actually
took a nap when I got there, scored a nap for an hour then a nice ride to
Woodlands resulting in a $20 tip. Now heading back after dinner. Why do
suburban folks tip, and those urban millennials won't?
...because
yuppie millenials be broke and probably still living with the parents to afford
the college loans they need to pay on."
"Picked
up my first prostitute pax this morning! Wow.....complaining little wench!
"Take me to bank of America, he didn't pay me enough, I'm not his
girlfriend" OMG!
My
sentiments after I drop a millennial in Midtown..."
"Effective
tonight, I will no longer pick up drunk couples (All they do is argue) and dJust
picked up two girls in Midtown. About halfway through the drive the girl behind
the driver seat started breathing very heavily through her nose. I asked her if
she was okay and she said "mmhhmm". I thought she was about to puke
but it never happened. Then she gets out of my car and I turn and look at her
as she was leaving and her cheeks are puffed out and really full. This girl
threw up in her mouth and held it there for at least three full minutes before
crossing the street, going up the driveway and letting it fly in the grass. I
have never seen that in my entire life and it turned my stomach. Held it in her
mouth "shudder""
"I
honestly hate Midtown now. self entitled Millennial brats thinking they can
just walk right in front of you across the street"
"Uber
driver convention here at the Capital One lot in midtown. Almost two dozen of
us here now. Sharing the misery of low earnings so far and hoping for a big
surge after midnight."
"Isn't
it bad enough that we have demanding self centeredMillenials misbehaving
in our cars? Older folks were raised right, so demanding behavior as described
is less explicable and equally unacceptable."
"Online
3.5, 8 trips for about $57. Slow compared to last Saturday. Played baseball
with my son for almost 2 hours so started later and tired. Starting to get all
drunk millennials, so i'm out."
"I'm
NW. My stepdaughter works in those areas and it is obviously a common mindset
among those young, uber-indoctrinated,millennials. Even seeing what
effects the cheapskate attitudes have on us as drivers, she and her
friends/acquaintances refuse to tip drivers because "they're getting paid
for it" and "well, uber says tipping is not allowed" (allowed,
or required, needed...depending on who you argue with). Can't get it thru her
head, even though she depends on tips herself...they think we make $30/hr
because that's what all the driver recruitment ads say."
"I was tempted to be an all nighter but last night I could've
been killed. Picked up an XL group oh my way home full of millennials. On
our way to the strip club at 345am they offered me 500.00 to drive them to the
Golden Nugget. I said -cash up front. Then they decided they needed energy
to last thru Saturday and called their dealer for some coke. I said hmmm NO.
Never mind. Go to the strop club or I'll take you a just home. Thankfully they
were cooperative and I called it a night."
"Last
night from thay concert at 8x were guys in there 30s- early 40s . The few
millenials I saw were sprawled out in the grass looking like they were not in a
rush to get anywhere."
"Right
now the drunks and sluts are doing their "walk of shame" trying to
find the vehicles they left near the clubs. So head to where the youngmillennial yuppies
reside in those big apartment complexes around town. Don't expect a tip or a
thanks btw..."
"I
was in Midtown and Pax called and asked me, "where are you?". I said,
"I'm in front of Subway". Pax said, "we don't have a subway in
Houston!"
"Heres
a new one. A guy gets out the vehicle after a pretty good ride and convo and
says "im a mellinial i never carry cash but you can hit my vape pen if you
want" and thats the ignorance that annoys me and lowers his rating"
"Avoid
Washington Ave and midtown between 12pm-2 am unless you like
impatient assholes and puke lol"
"Thursday
night had a Millennial complaint about the music, the charging cord so I kept
calm , then I stopped at a red light and he wanted me to run the light , then
he snapped his fingers to go when it turned green , I lost it and told him and
his friends to get out , he started yelling , and moving his hands that's when
I noticed he had an open container and I didn't know , he keeps cursing me out
and his girlfriend tells him to just let it go, he then tells me to go work at
Home Depot and calls me a Beaner I almost lost it but I kept calm and just
drove off, I love Midtown"
What can you do?
If you find yourself with a drop off in Midtown, turn off your app immediately. Do not do pick ups in Midtown. That's a sure way to avoid the "Midtown Monsters''.
Don't keep aux cords in your car. Hide your chargers.
Keep doors locked to verify correct number of pax and no open containers.
Always keep a fully charged taser and fresh can of mace.
NEVER EVER do a 2 a.m. Midtown pickup under 4.0 surge.
If they have drugs on them, drive them to the nearest 24 hours police sub station. They need help! You're doing them a favor.
HPD 24 Hour Substations
Central – 61 Riesner. (713) 247-4400
Special Operations - 1900 Rusk (832) 394-0000
Clear Lake - 2855 Bay Area Blvd. (281) 218-3800
Eastside - 7525 Sherman (713) 928-4600
Kingwood - 3915 Rustic Woods Dr. (281) 913-4500
Midwest - 7277 Regency Square Blvd. (832) 394-1200
North - 9455 W Montgomery Rd (281) 405-5300
Northeast - 8301 Ley Rd (713) 635-0200
Northwest - 6000 Teague Rd (713) 744-0900
South Central - 2202 St. Emanuel (832) 394-0200
South Gessner - 8605 Westplace Dr (832) 394-4700
Southeast - 8300 Mykawa (713) 731-5000
Southwest - 4503 Beechnut (713) 314-3900
Westside - 3203 South Dairy Ashford (281) 584-4700
A Few Fun Facts about Midtown Millennials
They are addicted to Snapchat, Bumble, Tinder.
They never do anything without their phones.
When they do grow up, they migrate to the Heights, get married, where they are at risk of reproducing.
No one knows what happens to Midtown Millennials once they get over the age of 35. See the two scenarios below. No live sightings after this point have ever been confirmed.
